Greetings...below are copies of the two handouts I distributed in class today--Final Editing of Essay 1 AND a list of transitional words and phrases. Remember, if you are absent, you are responsible for the information you missed. You may want to ask a fellow student for information I discussed NOT on these handouts.
See you Wednesday.
English 20--C. Fraga
Thinking about the Final Editing of Out of Class Essay #1
Reminders:
• No ‘you’ and ‘your’ in formal essay writing.
• No contractions in formal essay writing.
• More than a few mechanical and sentence level errors seriously affects the success and readability of your essay. How to avoid careless errors? PROOFREAD.
• Use interesting and vivid verbs.
• Learn the difference between then & than, effect & affect, past & passed.
• Proofread v. carefully for unacceptable errors.
• SPELLCHECK IS NOT ALWAYS YOUR FRIEND.
• Avoid commonly used words such as nice, good, bad, great, wonderful, etc.
• Proofread to catch errors in tense (tense shifts).
• Read your essay aloud, slowly, to hear errors often not detected when reading silently. (in particular, errors in repetitiveness become distracting and irritating quite quickly)
• Vary sentence beginnings and sentence lengths.
• Write in present tense as much as possible. (In this movie, Ariel, the youngest princess under the sea, was unhappy with her life. Should be IS unhappy with her life.)
• Do not write in the manner that you speak.
COMMA SPLICE
Home does not always have to be a place, it can be the memories that a person experiences that define their childhood.
Home for these men all signifies something different, for the father it’s a place of stability where he has control.
WORDINESS
On the other hand, we have songwriters who through their song lyrics showcase battery, fear and strength within the home.
Better:
On the other hand, some songwriters showcase battery, fear and strength within the home.
I feel that families have a great impact on our experiences of home.
Better:
Families have a monumental impact on our experiences of home.
These country-western songs about home reveal many of the various aspects of home. These songs reveal that home is somewhere we feel a sense of belonging, familiarity, and ownership.
Better:
These country-western songs define home as a place where we feel a sense of belonging, familiarity and ownership.
About Conclusions:
Do NOT simply re-word and/or re-phrase what you wrote in your introduction paragraph. It is an insult to the reader. In a short essay, the reader will not forget the overall premise of your essay.
You do, of course, want to refer to your thesis but your remarks should be more complex and qualified than the version in your introduction. In the end, readers may not agree with you, but they should know why the issue and your argument matter.
You are addressing the question, “so what?” What was the purpose for writing the essay? Why is it significant?
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English 20, C. Fraga-------------------Examples of Transitions:
Illustration
Thus, for example, for instance, namely, to illustrate, in other words, in particular, specifically, such as.
Contrast
On the contrary, contrarily, notwithstanding, but, however, nevertheless, in spite of, in contrast, yet, on one hand, on the other hand, rather, or, nor, conversely, at the same time, while this may be true.
Addition
And, in addition to, furthermore, moreover, besides, than, too, also, both-and, another, equally important, first, second, etc., again, further, last, finally, not only-but also, as well as, in the second place, next, likewise, similarly, in fact, as a result, consequently, in the same way, for example, for instance, however, thus, therefore, otherwise.
Time
After, afterward, before, then, once, next, last, at last, at length, first, second, etc., at first, formerly, rarely, usually, another, finally, soon, meanwhile, at the same time, for a minute, hour, day, etc., during the morning, day, week, etc., most important, later, ordinarily, to begin with, afterwards, generally, in order to, subsequently, previously, in the meantime, immediately, eventually, concurrently, simultaneously.
Space
At the left, at the right, in the center, on the side, along the edge, on top, below, beneath, under, around, above, over, straight ahead, at the top, at the bottom, surrounding, opposite, at the rear, at the front, in front of, beside, behind, next to, nearby, in the distance, beyond, in the forefront, in the foreground, within sight, out of sight, across, under, nearer, adjacent, in the background.
Concession
Although, at any rate, at least, still, though, even though, granted that, while it may be true, in spite of, of course.
Similarity or Comparison
Similarly, likewise, in like fashion, in like manner, analogous to.
Emphasis
Above all, indeed, truly, of course, certainly, surely, in fact, really, in truth, again, besides, also, furthermore, in addition.
Details
Specifically, especially, in particular, to explain, to list, to enumerate, in detail, namely, including.
Examples
For example, for instance, to illustrate, thus, in other words, as an illustration, in particular.
Consequence or Result
So that, with the result that, thus, consequently, hence, accordingly, for this reason, therefore, so, because, since, due to, as a result, in other words, then.
Summary
Therefore, finally, consequently, thus, in short, in conclusion, in brief, as a result, accordingly.
Suggestion
For this purpose, to this end, with this in mind, with this purpose in mind, therefore.
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